Something Philosophical, Not Logistical
I think we are standing at a crossroads in the world of college admissions, and I am fascinated by what we are going to choose moving forward.
It was a particularly powerful conversation with a sophomore boy last week that got me thinking about your lives not from the perspective of an adult, but rather from the perspective of a teenager. Though I am hesitant to suggest that there might be only two choices, during this particular conversation, there did seem to be only two choices. Posed in the form of a question to the boy, I asked him.
Do you want to make decisions looking through the lens of college admissions?
Or...
Do you want to make decisions with your happiness in mind?
What followed, at least initially, was a long pause. But when the pause ended, a great conversation followed. Together, we explored the question he came back with. What is the smarter decision? Of course, only he could answer that. We went back to where he wants to place value. I suspect that's true for everyone. Where do you place value? Is it on comfort? Relaxation? Personal growth? Feeling proud? The answer is different for every one of you.
With every passing year, I see and sense a growing resistance to engaging in the college process. I get it. College has grown to represent something I wish it never had: something to fear. This year, I have listened to so many of you talk about college, and by extension the college admissions process, as an end to childhood. It is with a mixture of anxiety, regret and sadness that you share these thoughts.
I can understand why so many of you make decisions with your own happiness in mind, why you hold the college process at arm's length. I don't envy you. I have been in this profession for twenty years, and I have seen how much things have changed.
For one, the college admissions environment is the toughest it has ever been.
Second, the consequences of your decisions have never been greater.
Third, the stress that most of you feel takes away from your entire high school experience.
But here is the question I am left with: why do the two questions I raised above need to be at odds? Why can't happiness come from engagement? I believe it can. In fact, I believe it is the source of joy because in the process of engaging, you are not only moving yourself forward, but you are also moving this process forward.
When I listen to your ideas, I am left inspired. Each and every one of you has all the insight, all the wisdom to make decisions that make you happy. And when you act on the different ideas we discuss during our conversations, not only do you add to your happiness, but you are also becoming stronger candidates.
As the second semester trucks along at its usual fast pace, I invite you not to make decisions with only college in mind, but rather to reflect on how your choices make you feel proud. My favorite conversations by far are when I hear one of you share a story of you acting on something we talked about. The element of surprise gives rise to joy. Suddenly, the college process is no longer intimidating or stressful.
It can be starting a club at your school, putting yourself in the ring for a particular position at school or in the community, applying for a part-time job, talking to one of your teachers, or creating an opportunity for someone else. The beauty comes from choosing to take any of these steps, not for the sake of college admissions, but because you feel more fulfilled as a human being.
That is my hope for each of you, that during the next several months, you make decisions that leave you proud and fulfilled, and that your motivation comes from within.